This page is for spinning yarns

“Just because you can solve a crossword puzzle or build an atom bomb doesn't mean that you use your mind. Just as dogs love to chew bones, the mind loves to get its teeth into problems.”  Eckhart Tolle - The Power of Now

There is old story in my family of my maternal Grandfather in the days before he quit drinking. He was still married to my Grandmother at the time. She awoke late one night by his muttering next to a bottle of vodka while sitting in his reading chair downstairs to their room. In the way I’ve heard the story retold by my Mother and Aunt in two decades or so of Thanksgiving gatherings, my Grandmother reproached him from the stairs calling, “Ron! Who are you talking to!?” He quipped back, “To myself! It’s the only way I can have an intelligent conversation around here!”  

We would have a chuckle and then often move on to stories of my siblings and I provoking the wrath of my Grandfather’s first Shih Tzu, Wicket. I remember my Grandfather commenting on the story once before his passing. He said in all earnest about it – “Yeah ...Well, in that house I couldn’t.”  

My Grandfather was fond of words. He spent much of his time in retirement reading newspapers and novels, completing crossword puzzles, and with rapt attention calling-out answers to Jeopardy before bed. He was expert with banter, and could talk for hours with stories of his career and life. I was grateful to get to know the man before his passing, and to carefully take in his clever and charming way of commanding attention.  

I remember a joke he would sometimes deliver deadpan to impatiently end uninteresting phone calls with mother. He’d say, “It’s nice you got to talk with me. Ookaay, bye.” I saw her on several occasions taking the joke while clinging to the phone, then chuckling and mimicking back, “Ooookaaay, bye” with a particular harshness. Once off the phone, She’d say, “What a character!” or some other endearing thing. She’d talk long after of his wit, disciplined routines and voracious reading, sometimes picking up a book or newspaper herself afterwards to give me her executive summary and judgment of the content. She likes having intelligent conversations, often for hours at a time, without ever asking for anyone else’s thoughts. She lives alone and would wish to see her grandchildren more often.        

I’ve been thinking of the story of my Grandfather having his intelligent conversation often for the past year-and-a-half or so, since having a short conversation with a graceful woman a bit older than myself. Grandstanding a bit, I was trying my best to make an impression with her. She acted increasingly disinterested and impatient with my talking, and responded during a pause with, “Have you ever heard one should listen twice as much as they speak?” With all my striding toppled, I said I hadn’t, and became quiet about anything except for what she expressed interest in. That is when that actual conversation started and I began to relate more honestly whenever I saw her again. That turned out far better than any intelligent conversation with myself. 

To be continued…

BSG 7-12-26